My dearest readers, two month ago, I celebrated my 25th birthday. A quarter of a life filled with trials, ups, downs but also a lot of joy. It was an opportunity for me to look back on these past years, and all the lessons they have taught me. I would like to share them with you today. Whether you are younger, older or barely 25, I think these are lessons that serve all generations and I hope they will inspire you.
“The wise man learns from his mistakes; the wiser man learns from the mistakes of others. ” — Confucius.
With all my affection,
Mouniirah.
Lesson 1: Know thyself ( Γνῶθι σεαυτόν)
Man! Know thyself, said Socrates. Knowing yourself goes beyond knowing your name, how old you are, and what your favorite food is. Knowing yourself is also knowing what you like and what you don't like. Knowing what light your soul up and what darkens it. It is knowing your beliefs and values, it is knowing how to listen to and decipher that little voice, deep inside us. Knowing yourself is essential to living a happy life, because a happy life is a life lived in harmony with yourself. And how can we live in harmony with ourselves when we don't know who we are? Knowing yourself will prevent you from letting yourself be defined by others. And once you know who you are, don't be afraid to be yourself, so that the people who are looking for you can find you.
Lesson 2: Believe in a higher power.
“Believing in a higher power, whether it be nature, the universe, or a divine entity, allows us to let go and feel at peace with the world.” — Niall O'Rourke.
Whether you call it God, Allah, Yhwh, the Universe, the Ancestors etc, learn to trust a power that surpasses you. As a human being, not only our time, but also our resources are limited. Many things escape us and even if we want to, there are a multitude of things that we cannot control. This is why it is important to be able to recognize our limits and to be content to act on what we have power over. Trust in something greater than us offers us a feeling of serenity but also of acceptance in times of stress and uncertainty and not only. But that's another story...
Lesson 3: Blessed are the flexible.
“Blessed are the flexible, for they shall never be broken.” — Unknown.
Be flexible, know how to adapt when things don't go as planned or as you planned them. Learn to make the best of it despite everything, learn to trust life when it offers you another route. Have your vision, have your principles, have your character, but also be flexible, because by being too rigid, you risk ending up breaking sooner or later.
Lesson 4: Listen more than you speak.
“If a man has two ears and one mouth, it is to listen twice as much as he speaks.” — Confucius.
Learn to listen more than you speak. Don't just listen. Don't listen with the intention of knowing more than you should. Listen with love, listen with care, listen with compassion, listen more, you will understand more.
Lesson 5: Be the change you want to see in the world.
Buddha said this: Be the change you want to see in the world. If you want to see a more respectful world, be more respectful yourself. If you want to see a more generous world, be more generous yourself. If you want to see a happier world, be happier yourself. Be the starting point for the change you want to see in the world.
Lesson 6: Don't put off living your life.
“And never say of anything: I will definitely do this tomorrow” —Surah Al-Kahf Verse 23.
Don't put off living your life, because later may be too late. Think of the big picture, think about the future, but learn to live in the moment because that may be all we really have.
Lesson 7: Guard your heart.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” —Proverbs 4:23.
Be careful what and who your heart clings to. Keep your heart from sadness, keep your heart from bitterness. Nourish it with peace, love and joy because it is the center of your emotions, the center of your life.
Lesson 8: Learn to say NO.
Know when to say yes, but especially know when to say no. Boundaries define where you stop and others begin. Know how to say no when the responsibility is not yours. It is important to sometimes know how to say no to others so that we can say yes to ourselves. Yes to our peace, to our health, to our projects. In the same way, know how to respect the no of others. No one owes you anything.
Lesson 9: Stop trying to fit the mold.
Man is a social animal, it's true, but trying to fit in with the wrong group will do you more harm than good. The ideal would of course be to find those people you recognize yourself in and a group that echoes your values, but when you don't find one, stay true to yourself and be patient. Don't betray yourself, just for a fleeting feeling of belonging.
Lesson 10: Start with the why.
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” — Friedrich Nietzsche.
Before you take any action, ask yourself: why? Knowing why you are doing what you are doing will allow you to withstand the inevitable storms that will come your way. Knowing why you are doing what you are doing will give you a clear direction to follow and the motivation to keep moving forward. First and foremost, ask yourself why? Because if you don't, life will force you to ask yourself the question at some point.
Lesson 11: Fall in love, with yourself.
“People don't have to like you, people don't have to love you. They don't even have to respect you. But when you look in the mirror, you better love what you see!” — Sheryl Lee Ralph.
Fall in love with the person you see in the mirror. Talk to him/her kindly, compliment him/her, and believe in him/her. Love yourself enough not to depend on the love of others. Charity begins at home. You can only give what you have. Give yourself the love you are so fond of giving to others.
Lesson 12: Work hard, in silence.
When your projects are still in their embryonic stage, keep quiet, because that is when they are most fragile. Don't be one of those who talk without doing anything. A saying from my country says that Coca-Cola is the one who advertises, otherwise bissap (hibiscus juice) keep calm. Of course, we live in a world where you sometimes have to promote yourself, but you will gain more by getting down to the task rather than talking about it. Your results will speak louder and above all will give you more credit.
Lesson 13: The body is not iron.
“The first wealth is health.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Don't take your health for granted. Don't push your body to the limit and don't voluntarily ingest harmful substances. Exercise, eat healthy, get enough sleep because a good health comes before of everything. Don't force your body to reprimand you in a few years, because know this, it keeps score. Every choice we make today and always is recorded daily, silently or not, in who we are, what we look like, how we feel (Ryan Holiday).
Lesson 14: The courage... to QUIT.
“f you get on the wrong train, be sure to get off at the first stop. The longer you stay on, the more expensive the return trip is going to cost you.”
We often hear about perseverance and how giving up is seen as an act of cowardice. But did you know that giving up sometimes requires an extra dose of courage? It takes courage to admit that you were wrong, it takes courage to realize that you are committed to something that does not reflect you, it takes courage to face criticism, it takes courage to face the unknown again. When we realize that we are running in the wrong direction, continuing to run will not bring us closer to the finish line. Know when to persevere and when to have the courage to take a step. back so you can take a big jump forward.
Lesson 15: Trust your intuition.
When a situation seems suspicious, when you have doubts, listen to the voice deep inside you that tells you what to do. Trust those dreams that don't make much sense to others. Trust that persistent idea. Listen to your intuition, listen to yourself. Because who better than yourself to know what is good for you? Take the time to listen to yourself, and trust your intuition, it is rarely wrong.
Lesson 16: A private life is a happy life.
We live in the era of sharing. An era where we sometimes feel left out when we don't show our breakfast, our achievements or our new acquisitions. An era where not exposing your life can rhyme with boredom, can rhyme with a feeling of being different. When the trend is towards sharing, even oversharing, dare to go against the grain, dare to live for yourself and not for the cameras.
Lesson 17: Love everyone.
“There isn't a person you wouldn't love if you could read their whole story.” — Marjorie Hinckley.
As much as you can, have love for every person you meet. Each of them has a story, a different experience than yours that explains why they are the way they are today. You probably won't be friends with everyone, but at the very least don't feed your heart with hatred and antipathy.
Lesson 18: You don't have to do everything alone.
“You can do it all by yourself, but you don’t need to. You have people around you who want to be there for you. You have beautiful souls around you who love to be by your side. You have people around you who would rather fight alongside you than watch you fight alone. We are so much stronger together. The weight is lighter, the pain is more bearable. There are times to work alone, and there are times to lean on your support. Allow yourself to lean on your team, because that’s what makes you strong.” — Nikki Banas.
Learn to recognize your team. Surround yourself with people who believe in you, those people who are not afraid to reprimand you when you do something wrong and congratulate you when you do something right. Those people who cry over your sorrows and rejoice in your victories. And have the humility to let yourself be helped. Life is a journey that NO ONE can accomplish alone. Find your team and be faithful to them.
Lesson 19: Keep your head up.
Even in times of difficulty, learn to keep your head up. You will be surprised at the positive impact you have on the people around you. Surprised at the people you inspire even when you feel like you are at your lowest. Keep your head up for yourself, for the people who believe in you and for all the others who walk behind you. Your crown will not hold if you have your head down, keep your head up!
Lesson 20: Mind your own business.
Or as we say in my country, learn to sweep in front of your own door or before talking about the broom in someone else's eye, mind the beam in yours. In short, all these variations mean the same thing: mind your own business or at least try to do it as much as possible. We tend to get involved in other people's business because it distracts us from the work we need to do on ourselves. Mind your own business, you will see that there is often more to do than you think.
Lesson 21: Be humble, but know your worth.
It is true that humility comes before honor (Proverbs 25:7). Stay humble, but don’t put yourself down or let others put you down. Know your worth, and don’t be afraid to claim what you deserve. Never accept living or enduring degrading conditions because you think you’re doing it out of humility. There’s nothing humble about it. And know this: When you’re being put down, it’s most often by people who know your worth, but hope you don’t.
Lesson 22: The hardest battles are fought in silence.
“Every person you meet is going through something you have no idea about, if you can't help, at least be kind.”
Every person you meet has gone through, is going through or has gone through difficulties that you will probably never know about. Don't always rely on 'I'm okay'. Offer to help when you can. A smile, a kind word, a message, a hug can have more influence than you think. And if you are not willing to do it, very often because you yourself are going through a difficult situation, at least be kind.
Lesson 23: Learn to let go.
“Do not give yourself over to sorrow, and do not distress yourself deliberately. A joyful heart is life itself, and rejoicing lengthens one’s life span. Indulge yourself and take comfort, and remove sorrow far from you, for sorrow has destroyed many, and no advantage ever comes from it.” —Sirach 30:21-23.
Suffering should not be an emotion that you like to cling to. No one will give you the award for the saddest person. You will not be rewarded for how much you have given in to depression, worse it will affect your health and shorten your life expectancy. Learn to let go, learn to accept happiness, because you deserve it.
Lesson 24: Nobody knows what they're doing.
“No one knows what they're doing. Nobody. Not even the ones with degrees, and big job titles, and more things than you. Not even the people on your vision board. Everyone is just trying loudly, failing loudly, and trying again. And so should you.” — Kaya Nova.
Rest assured, none of us has any idea what we are doing. I would say better, no one knows in advance if the actions and choices we make are the best. We all move forward by trial and error and with a lot of faith. Do not be afraid to make mistakes. Do not avoid choosing for fear of making the wrong choices, be brave enough to take the plunge and resilient enough to adjust as you go.
Lesson 25: It's never too late!
“I hope you live a life you are proud of, and if not, I hope you have the courage to start over.” — F. S. Fitzgerald.
When it comes to living the life you truly desire, trust me, age is just a number. You are neither behind nor ahead. You are exactly where you are meant to be.
One more thing before you go... If you have appreciated this post, I would like to ask you to please take a few more seconds to like button, comment, or share, that's how I can know that my work is indeed useful. Be blessed.
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