“True love is eternal, infinite, and always the same. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hair and it is always young in the heart.” — Honoré de Balzac.
One day in April 2024, I was deep into my studies when I got a notification from Ange. It was a video, and I thought, “I’ll check this out later, or I’ll lose my focus.” But my curiosity got the better of me. I picked up my phone and started watching the video. Right from the start, I realized what it was about, and I just wanted to scream! I tried to keep it together, but my study session was totally over. I grabbed my notebooks and dashed to my room to let all my feelings out. My friend was getting married! I was thrilled, excited, and my first thought was: “How am I going to attend this?” Luckily, I got to be a part of it, and I want to take you along with me on this journey filled with love, traditions, in the land of the Indomitable Lions. Thanks for joining me, and happy reading!
How to get a Visa for Cameroon?
Since I'm Burkinabe, I needed to get a visa to visit Cameroon. My friend and I started looking into the requirements a few months ahead of the wedding. When the time came, I uploaded my documents on the eVisa website. The cool part is that if everything's in order, you can get your visa issued within 48 hours after paying the fees. It costs about 100 Euros. Once you get there, you just need to head to the eVisa counters to get your visa stamped in your passport. I left Beijing, had a layover in Brussels, then Douala, and finally arrived in the city of seven hills on the night of July 25.
Tip: If you want to look good on your Visa, hit up the bathroom to freshen up because the photo is snapped right after you get off the plane. After being on a flight for 24 hours, I definitely didn’t look my best, haha. But honestly, it didn’t matter—I was finally in the land of the Indomitable Lions!
Step 1: The 'door knocking'.
NB: I will use the terms in-laws to refer to the groom's family, with Papi A. as the representative, and family to refer to my friend's family, with Papi M as the representative.
The door-knocking, or what we also call the 'family presentation,' is like the first step in the whole traditional wedding process. So, the night before the big day, the in-laws swing by the bride-to-be's family's place to introduce themselves and explain why they're there. They sent someone to represent them, and after acknowledging the warm welcome from the hosts, their representative let the bride’s family know they were there because they were interested in a 'treasure' they had found in the courtyard. Of course, they needed to get the owners' approval first before getting it. And you can be sure that the conversation wasn’t just a quick back-and-forth; it went on for about 3 hours, with both sides making their cases.
As far as I'm concerned (being a woman), I never find that this part can be 'too' long, because I feel that it's in this that we can distinguish the value that the family places on its protégée. After all, I'm also of the opinion that it should remain in a friendly, fraternal atmosphere. It's often a pity to attend traditional ceremonies that give the impression of a transaction, because I believe that no amount of money can be worth the other's daughter.After three hours of back-and-forth with the A. family, we didn't really say yes or no to their request. Instead, through their rep, family M. suggested they come back the next day. Because as they said: it’s tough to make big decisions at night and also in a rush. Grandpa M. told the family A. to take some time to think it over, since, as they say, a good night’s sleep can change your perspective. But before the in-laws headed out, we made sure to share a meal together.
Step 2: The dowry ceremony.
The dowry ceremony took place the day after the door-knocking. Since it was scheduled for the evening, we had the morning to accompany the bride to get her hair done and finish the last errands. On the morning of July 27, we stormed back to Yaoundé, heading to the hair salon followed by the sewing workshop for the last details on the outfit of the queen of the day. Before returning home for the ceremony which began around 6 p.m.:
From the outset, Grandpa M. agreed with Grandpa A. on the reasons that brought the two families together on this day. In a confident tone, Grandpa A. recalled that he had come with his delegation because one of their hunters had spotted a game in Grandpa M.'s yard that interested him. For Grandpa M., the A. family had to prove that they knew exactly which game in his forest they coveted. He invited them to come and look for themselves. The A. clan then sent two of its best hunters, who unfortunately returned empty-handed. They then asked Grandpa M. to provide them with guides, so that they could venture even further into the forest. What Grandpa M. did. After several unsuccessful attempts, it was only on the third attempt and when the hunter himself showed up, that at 6 of us (yes I was one of the guides lol) entered the forest once again. We walked and walked, we crossed dangerous territory before arriving in the area where the kings of the bush live. That's where we found her. She was so resplendent that we had to cover her with a sheet so that no other eyes would land on her and also check that the hunter could identify without making a mistake that she was indeed the game he coveted. Without hesitation, the hunter and the entire A. clan agreed: They had found their game.
To conclude the ceremony, the dowry presented by the in-laws was placed between the family A. on one side and the family M. on the other. The dowry consisted of a bottle of palm wine and a needle inserted into a cob of corn. To signify her consent, Ange was required to take the items and present them to Grandpa M. This act finalized the traditional marriage. In keeping with tradition, the in-laws also brought gifts for the members of the family M., who had been caring for the valuable items that were now entrusted to them. In return, the family M. presented the family A. with a mat, a specialty of the Central culture from which they originate. This mat was woven with great care and attention to detail, and now that it was in the possession of the family A., it further strengthened the bond between the two families.
Step 3: The blessing and PAIYA!
Ange, being also a believer, insisted that a short mass be followed after the traditional ceremony. Because as the priest pointed out, tradition and religion are not opposites, they go hand in hand. After that, the buffet and the dance floor were opened. I had the opportunity to taste and re-taste some of the specialties of the Continent. As for the atmosphere, the deejay made the effort to satisfy both cultures and also all generations. It was very interesting to see everyone dancing and singing together, young and old.
A glimpse of Yaoundé by night.
Since I went for the wedding, my whole stay revolved around the preparations and the ceremony. So we didn't have much time to go explore the city. But the day before my flight, we had a girls' night out at Boukarou Lounge which had live performances, I'm already a big music fan, when it's live, you lost me lol. We couldn't stay too long because I had to be at the airport the next day at 6am. But it was very nice, the service was perfect, the staff was nice. In fact, the singer even sang a song by Floby, a Burkinabe artist, because I told him I was from Burkina Faso. Very nice touch.
It is with a heart full of gratitude and a mind full of beautiful memories that I landed with the KP46 flight on Burkina Faso soil on the afternoon of July 31st. I would have liked to have more time, but I hope that God will give me the opportunity to return and visit because I know that Cameroon has a lot to offer. My thanks go of course to the couple, and Ange who gave me the opportunity to live this beautiful adventure, to her family and to all the people who, near or far, contributed to making my stay as comfortable as possible. Thank you to you dear reader. I wish you to experience this pure love, which elevates, which transcends, which is caring, which heals… Aight—Love is too sweet. If only you could see how beautiful they were!
Check out the album I was listening while writing this article :
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