On the previous Sunday, I attended a talk on the theme: Women: how to go beyond emotions for a fulfilled life? I happened to see the poster that my friend had shared on social media and immediately was enamored with the topic. I reached out to the organizer promptly to secure my place. Positive and negative emotions are integral to our lives, and furthermore, they provide the tempo to our existence. Knowing how to control them is therefore a significant task that often becomes challenging without the proper tools. I appreciate your presence and genuinely hope that the forthcoming lines will help you on this journey.
What is an emotion?
The term emotion is derived from the Latin term “emovere” which means to stir, to agitate, to move. Hence, an emotion is referred to as a stirred-up state of the organism. Emotion is often defined as a complex state of feeling that results in physical and psychological changes that influence thought and behavior. According to our psychologist, emotion is any feeling generated and directed towards someone or something. There are four kinds of basic emotions: happiness, sadness, fear, and anger, which are differentially associated with three core effects: reward (happiness), punishment (sadness), and stress (fear and anger).
Have you ever suffered from Alexithymia?
Alexithymia (/əˌlɛksɪˈθaɪmiə/ ə-LEK-sih-THY-mee-ə), also called emotional blindness, is a neuropsychological phenomenon characterized by significant challenges in recognizing, expressing, and describing one's own emotions.
As they asked us this question, I raised my hand and answered that it happened sometimes when I had difficulties recognizing in which mood I was. But usually, after some minutes or hours or days of introspection, I eventually succeed in identifying the prevailing emotion. Indeed, it is possible to experience multiple emotions simultaneously, although typically positive and negative emotions are seldom intertwined. It is common to feel anger, disappointment, and sadness, whereas feeling both happiness and anger simultaneously is less frequent. Nevertheless, I have learned the importance of striving to acknowledge our emotions and, most important: expressing them. This is crucial because harboring our feelings, particularly the negative ones, not only perpetuates constant resentment but also has detrimental effects on our well-being.
How do emotions affect our health?
“What we do not say accumulates in our body, turns into insomnia, lumps in the throat, nostalgia, doubt, sadness. What we do not say does not die. It kills us.”
And yeah! It literally kills us. Indeed, negative attitudes and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness can lead to chronic stress, which disrupts the body's hormone balance, reduces the brain chemicals associated with happiness, and weakens the immune system. Chronic stress can also shorten our lifespan. Poorly managed or repressed anger is linked to various health problems like high blood pressure, heart disease, digestive issues, and infections. Anger triggers the release of the stress hormone cortisol, which provides bursts of energy but can have negative effects when present in excess. Too much cortisol can disrupt blood sugar levels, suppress thyroid function, and decrease bone density. This hormonal imbalance also affects the immune system, leading to more frequent illnesses and flare-ups of conditions like asthma, skin disease, and arthritis in chronically angry individuals. Chronic stress and resentment can even impact fertility and the quality of breast milk in breastfeeding women.
In contrast, maintaining good emotional health enables individuals to maintain a positive perception of themselves, even in the face of adversity. This not only boosts their overall energy levels but also enhances their ability to concentrate and think with clarity. Conversely, when emotional well-being is compromised, it drains mental resources and contributes to feelings of exhaustion. It is worth noting that adopting a positive mindset towards life has been linked to numerous physical health benefits, including the reduction of blood pressure, decreased risk of cardiovascular diseases, improved weight management, regulation of blood sugar levels, and ultimately, a longer and healthier lifespan.
How to master your emotions?
In order to gain control over your emotions, it is necessary to take full responsibility for your life. Although it may seem easier said than done, once you achieve this mindset, you will notice improvements in your relationship with both yourself and others. Blaming others for the negative aspects of our lives hinders progress and can lead to animosity. Therefore, since we are born and die alone, it is our responsibility to take ownership of the events and choices in our lives. By doing so, we become less reliant on others and reduce our expectations of them. Ultimately, this mindset helps us stay grounded in reality rather than constantly overthinking.
“Every bad feeling you have is the result of distorted negative thinking.”
So stop drawing hasty conclusions and over-generalizing. Always try to manage things on a case-by-case basis. Avoid rejecting positivity. Yes, life is full of hardships, but it's also full of good times. So accept them as part of life too, and embrace them when they happen to you. Stop exaggerating everything that happens to you and learn to filter the information that comes to you. To move forward, we must know that who we are, how we interact, and who we aspire to be, takes most of the roots in our early years. So, in order to have a better understanding of ourselves, we must be aware of our relationship trajectory, which can be determined with the help of a psychologist. An expert that Mrs. Noamessi encourages us to see at least once in our lives.
Allow me to introduce you to Plume Nègre, a young slam artist who was invited by the coaching team to give a brief speech on the topic of our meeting.
With his permission, I share with you the video of his performance. It was such a pleasure to hear him. And we wish him a lot of success. By the way, for anyone interested in contacting him for business, please email us at info@mouniirah-deme.com for more information. Thank you.
One question last, though, How to focus on positive feelings without falling into what we call: Toxic positivity? Hopefully, I will write another post to discuss that subject.
I thank my friend Natacha for this great opportunity because, without her, I would surely have missed it. Thanks to the coaching team and all the other 5 participants for their testimonies. And finally, thank you, dear reader. I hope you've got some insights about yourself and/or learned something useful. Don't forget to smile and cherish your precious life, because even though it can be hard sometimes, to live means to have opportunities to make things better. May you seize all the good opportunities and encounters that come your way. May God bless you, take care.
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