You know that feeling you get when someone else tries to forbid you to do something or tells you, you are not capable of doing this or that? Often you just let it go, but other times without even knowing why all you want to do is prove him/her wrong. Then begins a fierce struggle to show that you matter, that your opinion matters, and above all that you are free to do what you want when you want. Sound familiar? If so, then you've probably fallen victim, intentionally or not, to what is called reverse psychology. In this post, we will look at this technique that I myself used to get you to read me, even though the title is very clear: Don't read this! Thank you for joining me.
1. What is Reactance and its link with Reverse Psychology?
Reactance is a cognitive bias that was initially studied by Brehm (an American psychologist) in 1966. It describes the extreme reactions human beings experience when we feel as though we are being pushed towards doing something or as though our freedom to make our own choices is being threatened. Reactance is a psychological defence mechanism that we utilise more or less subconsciously in order to try to get our freedom back. This often presents itself as a Boomerang Effect of non-conformity.
One of the most common ways we see reactance theory in play is reverse psychology. Reverse psychology or “strategic self-anticonformity” involves the advocacy of a belief or behavior that is opposite to the desired one and expects that this will encourage ones to do what is actually desired. It can take various forms, such as forbidding the target behavior, questioning the person’s ability to perform the target behavior, and encouraging the opposite of the target behavior.
+ Reverse Reverse psychology: Reverse reverse psychology is a manipulation technique that involves prompting people to do exactly what you want them to do, while also causing them to think that you’re using reverse psychology on them and wanted them to do the opposite. Essentially, reverse reverse psychology relies on getting the target person to think that you’re using reverse psychology on them, in order to get them to defy your attempts and do what you originally prompted them to do, which is what you wanted them to do all along.
2. How does it work?
In 1971, Kiesler, Mathog, Pool & Howenstine conducted an experiment by contacting two groups of young women and asking them to sign a petition for opening a family planning and contraception clinic. One of these groups was then also sent some anti-contraception propaganda. The experiment revealed that many more of the women from the group who had also received this anti-contraception propaganda signed the petition supporting the family planning and contraception clinic than from the group that had not. Instead of inciting a negative reaction against contraception as the propaganda had intended, it had in fact had the opposite result, encouraging the women to support the contrasting cause.
In his study, Brehm suggests that:
“An individual who feels a threat to his or her sense of freedom will experience discomfort that motivates the re-establishment of that freedom. Such reactance motivation should increase the likelihood of nonconformity to influence attempts. In these situations, an influence source may have success by misrepresenting his or her true desires, assuming that the target’s proclivity for disagreement will result in the target adopting the position that the source secretly desires.”
Therefore, reverse psychology works especially well on people who tend to disagree with what they’re told or with orders that they’re given (such people are sometimes referred to in this context as nonconformists, anti-conformists, or contrarians). Note that some people tend to disagree with others in general, while others tend to only do so in specific contexts, or when it comes to specific people, such as authority figures.
“The reason reverse psychology works so damn good is that most people don't like to be told what to do/don't.”
3. How to use it?
Reverse psychology is often used as a marketing tactic. It can also be use in parenting to get your children do/don't do exactly what you want or in relationship. If you want to use reverse psychology, here are a few different tactics you might try:
Forbid the target behavior (e.g. “don’t do X”) — Don’t press the button.
Discourage the target behavior (e.g. “you shouldn’t do X”) — You shouldn’t think about what it’s like to behave properly for the next 5 minutes.
Predict that the target person won’t engage in the target behavior (e.g. “you probably won’t do X”) — I wanted to tell you something, but you probably won't be interested in it.
Say negative things about the target behavior (e.g. “X is so bad, who would want it”) — Heard that Ouagadougou is so boring, you would want to go there.
Question the target person’s ability to perform the target behavior (e.g. “you probably couldn’t do X well”) — Nevermind! You probably can’t do it, anyway.
Encourage the opposite of the target behavior (e.g. “you should do Y, since it’s so much better than X”) — You'll better try vanilla, since it's so much better than chocolate.
Note that reverse psychology can backfire, and cause the target to pursue the directly suggested course of action instead of the intended opposite. If the person notices the attempted manipulation, this can damage your relationship.
4. How to deal with someone using 'ygolohcysp' on you:
The first step to dealing with someone using reverse psychology is to realize that they’re doing it. When in doubt, take the time to slowly think through the situation, and try to consider the situation and your options in a non-emotional manner. Once you’ve successfully identified that someone is attempting to use reverse psychology on you, here are some tricks to deal with him/her:
Ask the other person for more information: Which can help you verify that they’re using reverse psychology, and can give you more time to think, while also creating opportunities for the other person to mess up and expose information that will help you make a better decision.
Call out the other person out on their use of reverse psychology. This can be beneficial in some cases, though there are situations where it’s more useful to pretend that you didn’t notice the attempted manipulation.
Go with the originally suggested course of action, the opposite course of action, or a different alternative. Which option is the best for you depends on your particular circumstances, and on what you’re hoping to achieve. The most important thing is to focus on what’s best for you, rather than on what the other person is trying to get you to do, either directly or indirectly.
Sources:
Like many influence tricks, reverse psychology often involves 'playing' others' emotions and feelings. So be careful when using it, because in general people don't like to feel manipulated and in some cases (especially in relationships) it can be damaging. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for reading! May God bless you, take care.
But, please don't leave a like and don't dare commenting lol!
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